Oh, they only succeeded because they knew the right people.

I hear this a lot. Especially when Africans talk about Western founders. The argument goes something like this: “Those founders had it easy - they had connections, they knew investors, they had access to networks we don’t have.”

Here’s my problem with that framing: social currency is still currency.

And like any currency, it has to be earned.

The “privilege” of knowing people

Yes, Mark Zuckerberg met his first investors through Harvard connections. Yes, the PayPal Mafia all knew each other and kept funding each other’s ventures. Yes, warm intros open doors that cold emails never will.

But let’s not pretend these relationships fell from the sky.

Peter Thiel didn’t wake up one day with a network of billionaire founders in his phone. He built that network over decades - by being useful, by being present, by being someone others wanted to know.

Reid Hoffman didn’t just “have” connections. He cultivated them intentionally. He showed up. He added value first. He became the person others wanted to introduce to their friends.

As Hoffman himself put it: “The really key thing about networking that most people miss is that giving is more important than taking for establishing a relationship.”

The network is the result, not the starting point.

Knowing people is a skill

Here’s what we don’t talk about enough: building relationships is hard work.

It requires:

• Showing up consistently when there’s no immediate payoff
• Being genuinely useful to others before asking for anything
• Developing social intelligence and emotional awareness
• Playing long games when everyone else is playing short ones
• Being interesting enough that people remember you
• Following up without being annoying
• Adding value in rooms you weren’t invited to

If knowing people was easy, everyone would have a powerful network. They don’t. Because it’s not easy.

The numbers prove this. According to LinkedIn research, 85% of all jobs are filled through networking. Employee referrals make up only 7% of applicants but result in 40% of all hires. Referred candidates are 15 times more likely to be hired than those applying through job boards.

Social currency isn’t a soft skill. It’s the hardest currency in the job market.

The founders who “know people” invested years into building those relationships. They went to the events. They sent the thoughtful messages. They made the introductions for others. They provided value long before they extracted any.

That’s not privilege handed down - that’s work put in.

We need to stop the cope

When we dismiss someone’s success as “they just knew people,” we’re doing two things:

1. We’re lying to ourselves. We’re creating a convenient excuse for why we haven’t achieved what they have. It feels better to believe the game is rigged than to admit we haven’t played it well.

2. We’re missing the lesson. Instead of asking “how did they build that network?” we’re dismissing the entire concept as unfair. We’re opting out of a game we should be learning to play.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: complaining about other people’s networks won’t build yours.

Social currency compounds like any other currency

Think about it - relationships work like compound interest.

You meet one person. You add value to them. They introduce you to two more people. You add value to those people. They each introduce you to two more. Repeat for a decade.

This isn’t theory. Research published in the Journal of Applied Psychology tracked professionals over three consecutive years and found that networking directly correlates with salary growth over time. The compounding is measurable.

The founders we look at today with their “unfair” networks? They started that compounding years ago. Some started in university. Some started in their first jobs. Some started by contributing to open source or writing online or showing up to meetups.

They didn’t wake up connected. They woke up early and started connecting.

The Western founders who have “access”? Many of them built that access in public. They blogged. They tweeted. They spoke at conferences. They helped others. They made themselves visible and valuable.

That’s not a closed door. That’s a playbook.

The real advantage gap

I’m not naive. There are real structural differences between building in San Francisco versus Lagos or Nairobi.

The density of capital is different. The default trust levels are different. The proximity to decision-makers is different.

But here’s what I’ve noticed: the African founders who are winning aren’t the ones complaining about the gap. They’re the ones building bridges across it.

They’re showing up in Twitter spaces with global founders. They’re contributing to open source projects maintained by people in Silicon Valley. They’re writing content that gets shared internationally. They’re finding ways to add value to people they’ve never met in person.

They’re building social currency from a distance - because they understand it’s still currency worth earning.

The playbook is the same

Want to know people? Become someone worth knowing.

• Show your work. Write, build, ship. Let your work introduce you before you introduce yourself.

• Be genuinely helpful. Answer questions in communities. Make introductions for others. Share opportunities you hear about.

• Show up consistently. The person who’s always around eventually becomes part of the furniture. Then part of the family.

• Play long games. Don’t network with an agenda. Build relationships because relationships are valuable. The opportunities come later.

• Follow up. Most people meet someone interesting and never reach out again. Be the person who does.

• Provide value first. Always. Before you ask for anything, give something. Information, connection, feedback, support - anything.

This works anywhere. It works in Lagos. It works in Nairobi. It works in London. It works on the internet where geography doesn’t exist.

Consider this: 70% of jobs are never posted publicly. They exist in what recruiters call the “hidden job market,” filled through referrals and relationships before a job listing ever goes live. If you’re only applying to posted jobs, you’re competing for 30% of the opportunities.

If networking doesn’t come naturally

“But I’m introverted.” “I don’t know how to network.” “I’m not good with people.”

I hear you. Not everyone is naturally charismatic. Not everyone enjoys working a room. That’s okay. Networking in the modern era isn’t about being the loudest person at the conference.

J. Kelly Hoey, author of Build Your Dream Network, puts it this way: “Expertise and a goal are just your starting point. Networks are crucial because gaining access changes your outcome.”

Her practical advice for people who struggle with networking:

1. Be specific about what you need. Instead of saying “I want to build my network,” say “I want to meet people who are VPs of operations at companies with 50+ employees.” The more specific the ask, the easier it is for your network to help.

2. Do your research before events. Look at who’s attending. Find the three people you actually want to meet. Have something relevant to say to them. Quality over quantity.

3. Your online presence must match your offline ambitions. If you want to be known for something, your LinkedIn, your X profile, your writing should all reflect that. People will look you up before they meet you.

4. Networking is continuous, not episodic. It’s not something you do when you need a job. It’s something you do every week, every month, whether you need anything or not.

Hoey’s core insight: “What I know about networking is this: It is an essential and continuous activity. You control the effort, but not the outcome.”

You don’t need to be an extrovert. You need to be intentional.

Stop downplaying, start building

The next time you hear about a founder who succeeded because they “knew people,” resist the urge to dismiss it.

Instead, ask: How did they come to know those people? What did they do to earn that trust? How can I start building the same?

Social currency is still currency. It’s not a cheat code - it’s an asset class. And like any asset, you can build it if you’re willing to put in the work.

The founders with networks aren’t lucky. They’re invested.

Reid Hoffman’s rule: “If you are not receiving or making at least one introduction a month, you are probably not fully engaging your extended professional network.”

Time to start investing.

Build healthy connections.